In order to have a healthy relationship, we need to understand what makes our partner feel loved and learn how to communicate love in ways that it can be received. Gary Chapman’s basic premise is that there are five different ways people express love or feel loved by others. Good communication is essential for healthy relationships, and knowing how to express love well is part of that.Īnd if you’re curious to know more about your style in relationships, check out our Relationship Archetypes quiz. Translated into 50 languages and with 20 million copies sold, the popularity of The 5 Love Languages speaks to our deep human need to give and receive love.īeginning at the moment of birth and lasting our entire lives, our need for love and connection is a vital part of what makes us human.Įxpressing love in ways that help your partner feel loved will enrich your relationship in many ways. While French is often called the language of love because of its melodic sound, in the context of relationships, the term “love languages” was popularized by Gary Chapman, Baptist pastor and author of the 1995 book The 5 Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. (As a side note, the question, “What is love?” is the number one Google search of all time.) If Google searches and book sales tell us anything, it’s that we’re hungry for information about how to express and receive love in our intimate relationships.Īccording to Google’s Romance Report, half a million people search for information on love languages each month. Most importantly, we show you how to move beyond the limited framework of The Five Love Languages to discover the unique love language of your relationship. We also explore the benefits and shortcomings of Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages model. In this article, we’ve included a list of the five love languages, along with examples and a link to The 5 Love Languages test so you can find out your own love language. (Especially since mismatched love languages are common.) Read on and see if you recognize yourself, or your mate, in the love language descriptions below. Even better, knowing your partner’s love language can give you new ideas for expressing love. Consider the different types of touch to be different dialects of the physical touch love language.Learning how to express love can be a lifelong adventure, beginning with understanding the type of love language you speak. When we talk about types of touch that work for your partner it’s really not overly complicated, it’s very similar to the dialects of the other love languages that were explored in previous weeks. (You can replace a pat on the butt with literally any touch) and rather than filling their love tank, you may be inadvertently depleting it. Because you may think “aha, my partner’s love language is physical touch! I’ll give them a pat on the butt when they pass me” and while you may be right that that’s your partner’s love language, they may find that particular touch to be uncomfortable, cringy, or hurtful. How do you know if your attempts at physical touch feel good to your partner? ASK THEM. SO if this goes beyond just sex, what all can it entail? The physical touch love language can be expressed though a hand on a shoulder, a squeeze of a knee, a snuggle, sitting closely on the sofa, a peck in passing, or ANY OTHER PLEASURABLE TOUCH. If touch is being demanded or coerced from you, that is not love that is not the love language.**īack to physical touch. It’s also important to remind everyone here that love and expressions of love are freely given, they are not demanded or coerced. ** I feel like it’s important for us to note here that we’re talking in the context of a consensual, adult, relationship. It refers to any touch that is pleasurable to the receiver. The physical touch love language goes well beyond sex. Great, sex communicates love, tell us something we don’t know.
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